20060112

Criminally Insane Americans

C.I.A Headquarters, Langley Virginia - Aerial Photo c/o D.I.G Surveillance Satellite

Last night I was reminded of the lengths Governments go to, in order to protect the 'freedom'of the 'people'.
A T.V report was broadcast on a 'new' type of intelligence gathering being seized upon by the C.I.A, foremost shadowy organisation for the protection of capitalism in the world. This new development, called 'open source' intelligence goes against the ingrained belief of most intelligence agencies that the only valuable information must be stolen.
'Open source intelligence' is information that is is freely available in the global public domain. This means all TV, radio, internet (Sites, blogs and emails), posters, t-shirts and even bumper stickers!? All of these can be mined for potentially useful information for the combatting of potential threats, as identified by the C.I.A. They are curently scanning 500 TV stations out of a potential 20,000 at any one time. The internet is being scoured for subversion of any sort. Website and specifically images can be useful for the identification of protagonists, locations or political persuasions. Other searches are based on 'key' words in a multiplicity of languages. Words such as jihad, bomb, sabotage, flight plans, assasination, cell, arab, infidel, Afghanistan, Iraq, plot, cocaine, smuggle, terrorist, freedom-fighter, guns and communist, seem likely targets on the C.I.A search engine. But what others could incriminte or arouse interest from the Men In Black? Considering the C.I.A's past list of potential threats such as, drug-users, jazz musicians, homosexuals, communist party members, liberal activists and anyone with olive skin or has been to Cuba, who is safe from this advanced technological snooping. Even your friendly neighbourhood DIGlog could be under surveillance as we speak!
Here are a few alternative acronyms for our friends at the C.I.A and thanks for watching!

Criminally Insane Americans

Conspiracy Initiation Agency

Cocaine Import Airlines

Corrupt Insidious Animals

Cuban Invasion Army

Capitalist Infiltration Agency

Curiously Innocent Assassins

If you would like to add to this list please feel free to do so and remember P.C's have ears! Alternatively click on C.I.A on the links list and drop them a line before they drop you one!

In DIG we trust

The Reverend

STOP PRESS

Having published this post, the Reverend received a suspicious and threatening communique from an unknown source claiming to be the Leader of the First World. The Reverend responded on behalf of all free-thinking DIGpeople everywhere. The exchange is reproduced below....

Reverend

I'm Aware of all your movements now pal. You won't be getting out your door without a visit from one of our agents of mercilessness. You my friend are a marked geezer. We at Central will be appropriating your ideas at will and utilising them for our propaganda program for innocents. You will be held down as an example of the dangers of free thinking. Kids do not dally with these kinds of ideas of emancipation at home. Freedom there ain't no f*cken freedom. If it's good enough for us then you should be only too willing to obey and lend us your support in upholding the rights of society IE: do not question the road map we lay out for you. The institutions of debt need you. You're holding the economy back and putting the future of your children in the hands of criminals and perverts. You are either with us or against us.You have the put the future of the first world in jeopardy by even so much as contemplate thinking outside of this tidy square we have drawn for you and all the other drones. We have agents watching the agents watching you. You and your thoughts are so far left of socialism that you are a peril unto yourself, jazz musicians, homosexuals and the downtrodden guerillas across this soon to be right globe. You are even beginning to look less like us. Don't think you can hide behind your body hair. We have camera plants mixing among your derma-bacteria. Through special monitoring devices we can now record the thoughts of your chest plumage as it waves in the breeze. Yes my Amigo if you do not fall back into line very soon you are going toneed more than the salvation of art. Because if you think you are tortured now let me just remind you of the kinds instruments of punishment we have in our free world protection arsenal. The kinds of equipment we have booked you up for are operated by highly skilled manipulators, who not so much as extract truth as administer it. Our truth can be painful to accept and bitter to swallow but it is the only true truth, the rest is in your head. And what a dark confused place that is compared to the light of our consumer consciousness out here in the great white hope for the planet.

Leader of the First World
(The President?)sic Reverend

Bleeder of the First World,

Declaration:
We the free people of the 4th world, which is the new world, to which you will never belong, are resistant to your empty threats of mental violence and fiscal oppression. We have reactive agents everywhere roaming unfettered through the world of the open-mind and the imagination. We know what goes on at your George Bush Centre for Intelligence (I kid you not, check the website!!!), and the administration of the truth requires a blank page upon which to be imprinted. There are no blank pages in the rich book which is the creative spirit, only visions of emancipation from every constraint you could think-up or that you do not have the capacity to imagine.
That you are watching us, we have no doubt. We welcome your techno-nazi voyeurism, watch and learn as we design a rainbow future. A future where every colour is celebrated and the grey legions to which you belong are vapourised, till only a shadow of the shadow of the memory remains to remind the free that once we were oppressed.
Oppress us if you dare agents of mediocrity, anal probes for the Emperors of Rhetoric. The greater the oppression, the keener our resolve, the more determined our degeneracy, the more creative and decisive our liberation.
It is we who know the truth; That order is anarchy and true anarchy is order. Forget your autocratically democratic beurocracy, it is sufficiently deficient to ensure your own downfall. Every vote, every purchase, every act of complicity, feeds you the rope with which you will be hung by your own hangman, as every emperor ever has been!
Where you have paranoia, we have trust, where you have issues we have solutions, where you have money, we have faith.
Do not attempt to control that which you do not understand, for it is you that will end up burnt in the fire of justice, not us.

In DIG we trust!
The Reverend -
Free, Freaky, Hairy and Proud

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

A message to the fool who thinks that by sending the Reverend threatening emails he can intimidate- If you have any balls or backbone at all, rather than continuing to be the pathetic coward that you are- meet me on a Welsh hillside face to face, where I will be more than happy, to give you a free lesson in the politics of choice,other than this- crawl back into your coffin, tosser. Peter Axinowe.

Burg said...

ha ha Senor Peter I see irony running lost like scared lambs fleeing across the grand valleys of that most beautiful and mystical homeland of yours.
For I am the pathetic coward to whom your offer of face to face politicking on a distant hillside sounds like just the ticket.
Only can we make it in your summer?

Anonymous said...

Irony? lostlambs? What kind of sicko are you? On second thoughts don't bother to tell me. Gelom machadi kovel bora.

Burg said...

Ah Senor your humour button seems to have fallen off on the climb up the hill.
I am not going to condescend to you about the qualities I otherwise admire in your work but I will say this; Thank you for thinking it a serious piece of prose, it reassures me that the power of the word is still relevant.
To you sir I say stay with DIG cos DIG loves you but if the power of your convictions says otherwise then so be oit and thank you for your contributions.
And I will gladly accept the offer to come for a guided tour of your hillsides if you will accept ours to tour here.
Cheers.

Burg said...

Forgive me if the spelling's wrong byt Dim prob chwarae taeg bach.
Now get over yourself and move on.

Anonymous said...

It would seem that you are attempting to write in Welsh, rather than Rommanes.
Dim prob-no prob.

chwarae?
taeg? tegan? teganu?-beautiful.
bach-boy.

Anonymous said...

The 'illusion'worked.
Due to my being naive, impulsive, and in the habit of taking words quite literally, you have successfully managed to pull the wool over my eyes. Well done!

Thanks for the return invite, but it is a journey, that to of made once is enough.
If it were not for the fact that you seem so condescending and incredulous, you would also be welcome here.

Your 'anonymous' email/letter is perhaps not so far from the truth.

Such deceitful tactics though, now outline the pronouncement of a death sentence upon Dig, to be executed without appeal, by the sacred lambs of Romanastan.

The growing burden of Dig's emty sense of self importance, appears as another wasteland- an interworld, where power and it's corrosion mix with the will to live.

Burg said...

Ha Ha Ha. You had me going there for a minute. I almost thought you were serious. The joke is well and truly on us. Very Good Amigo.
Yes you are of course right. I am nothing but a self conceited middle class twat with more than a small island nations worth of arrogance and self importance.
The truth is so far beyond my realm that I have noosed my own neck with my ignorance and live in a dark cave that smells like sh*t. Yup I am really quite firmly lodged up my own arse and make no apologies.
For I am El Presidente and as such can live in my palace of self worth and cast dispersions on who and what I feel. That is the role of the dictator is it not?
You had me pegged from the beginning and now I have egg on my face.
I will see to it you are accosted and bound and then tickled pink with the feathers from the g-strings of the presidential harem of topless salsa dancers.
PS: I am not sure who Anonymous #1 was, could have been the useless translator who has now been banished to the highlands to milk the glands of alpine chicken in search for an antidote for fear.

The Reverend said...

I do not want to add further personal insult to this already imbalanced exchange of humour vs vitriol.
I will however comment on the comments made about the Diglog and indeed the nature of DIG itself.
DIG was set up by a 2 artists to , through the power of the collective, promote themselves and other creative colleagues worthy of support by the creation of new and creative opportunities with integrity. It started as multimedia art/music/film evenings and progressed to a self-funded magazine, a community radio show and now the 'diglog'. I have long supported artists around me through positive encouragement, advocacy and/or physical and creative assistance (Axinowe himself once availed himself of this encouragement and support freely during dark hours at the coal face of art school!). So much so that I find myself successfully engaged in this advocacy for my profession. In my professional life as in my non-professional creative projects, I have time and time again been derided, attacked, despised and dismissed by the very creatives I have been attempted, been mandated to or sought out by to assist. These same artists, full of talent but lacking in emotional security seem bound to 'bite the hand that feeds them' in an attempt to make the world and all who live in it debased enough to free them (the tortured misunderstood 'real' creatives of integrity) of the opportunity to be touched/hurt/invalidated byt he world and anyone in it, especially those with the arrogance to endaevour to be positive and open and generous with themselves and their art.
DIG has never taken itself as seriously as these people. One of the reasons that DIG or its protagonists aliases exist is to de-personalise the creativity and remove the fresh wound that is ego from creative activity itself. This other persona is free to express itself with out fear of critique, without expectation of financial or critical return, without the preciousness of possessive ownership of ones creativity. If the purpose of art is to communicate, to whom is the isolated, tortured, misunderstood artist communicating? The sheep on the hillside (Baaa!) and the ghosts of dead miners (The Reverends kin!)?
Are not these artists resenting others for their creative garrulousness, making it only for themselves and if so is not they who are all to full of self-importance and arrogance, like the miser who hoards his treasure in the midst of poverty?
The Reverend will never abandon the flock, though the flock may abandon him. DIG can neither be controlled, nor killed and its intentions of integrity, blessedly free from the moral corruption of the dwellers of the moral high-ground. DIG is larger than the sum of its parts. The Reverend and El Presidente are merely conduits of this dynamic and creative optimism. As any good left wing extremist (Left-wing, right-wing, you are all the same) knows, a collective society is open to abuse. A collective society also requires leadership and vision. The notion of the democratic collective is a naive dream that masks the reality and inevitability of the ignorance of the mob rule.
DIGs benevolent dictatorship will continue in the capable hands of El Presidente. Feel free to dissent, criticise, lambast, deride, debase all you want, just be creative about it. Be serious, learned and passionate but retain warmth, insight, humour and humility or DIG can not acomodate you. The Reverend will ex-communicate no-one but will not let vandals in the church.
Go forth be your own missionary and make your stand where you feel it counts.
Hopefully with our unintentional and blatantly obvious deception we have fooled a 'real' enemy and forced open a chink in their rhetorical armour, through which the wind of change can blow.
Transmit and you shall receive.
In DIG I Trust.
Thus spoke the Reverend.

Anonymous said...

When did you last undertake a substantial amount of voluntary work for your community and help local kids.

Anonymous said...

From what I remember, these are the same people that fed you, taxied you, supported and encouraged you.

Anonymous said...

Maybe we should launch an anti buddle & burgess blog

Anonymous said...

Pretentious egotistical arrogant and deluded pricks that have no doubt ever helped or assisted anyone but yourselves

Anonymous said...

warmth, insight, humour and humility? Sounds like it

Anonymous said...

Look out for the blog coming soon to a PC near you!